Meet the Gallaghers.
They're wildly,
unapologetically,
shameless.
Shameless 20 minute sneak peak next.
The following presentation is rated TVMA.
Nobody is saying our neighbourhood is a garden of Eden.
Hell, some people say God avoids this place altogether.
But it's been a good home to us, to me and my kids,
who I'm proud of, cause every single one of them
reminds me a little bit of me.
Fiona, my rock.
Huge help. Has all the best qualities of her mother.
Except she's not a raging psycho bitch.
Blow!
Lip, smart as a whip. Straight A's in the honor roll.
Boy's definitely going somewhere.
Ian, industrious, conscientious, ambitious, incredible work ethic.
Don't have a clue where he got that from.
Wants to be a paratrooper. Knows how to disembowel an enemy
with a roll of dimes and an old gym sock.
Carl, um, I don't really know that much about Carl.
Oh, loves animals. Always dragging home some poor stray he found.
Taking 'em up to his room.
Ah, Debbie. Sent by God. Total angel.
Raises money for UNICEF year-round.
Some of which she actually turns in.
Liam, going to be a star.
I'm no biologist, but he looks a little bit like my first sponsor.
He and the ex were close.
Kev and Veronica. Fantastic neighbors.
There's nothing they won't do for each other.
Or to each other.
That didn't hurt half as much as I thought it would.
I never realized how little sex I was having 'til V and Kev moved next door.
And me, Frank Gallagher.
Father, teacher, mentor, captain of our little ship.
We may not have much but all of us, to a man,
knows the most important thing in this life.
We know how to fucking party!
Sync & corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com
7:15, monkeys. Come on.
Oh, no. 7:15.
Oh, no.
I fell down.
First shower!
You had it yesterday.
Fuck!
Shit.
Electric. Yeah.
Coming through.
Electric.
No. You've got a Happy Meal on the front of that shirt.
Oh, um, field trip. Need Dad's signature.
Okay. Arms up.
Wow, Deb, that's getting really good.
Who's got the phone? I got it.
Any minutes left? Uh, 14.
Hey, I need something for show-and-tell.
How much are we short?
$18.30.
Oh, I'm tutoring after school.
I should be able to kick in like ten more.
Hey, did, uh, Carl put in any?
Mmm.
You're almost nine.
You're going to have to start pulling your weight.
That's right, and get a real job,
not just dipping into the collection plate at St. Tim's.
I'm filling in for Candi.
I can cover the rest.
Extra kraut on mine.
Cheese on mine.
Somebody's got to take Liam.
Uh, I got a calculus test.
I'm working after school.
Show-and-tell?
Show them the birthmark on his back.
It looks like Latvia.
♪ I want you to be true ♪
♪ 'Cause sometimes I don't understand ♪
♪ The things you do ♪
♪ I won't save you ♪
♪ From the ways you so ♪
That's my fucking bike!
♪ So wrongly want to choose, la, la, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, pay attention now ♪
♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪
♪ Pay attention now, la, la, la, la, la ♪
♪ Pay attention now. ♪
No Candi again?
Bobby's got a bail hearing.
That kid's going to be the death of her.
What is it this time?
Tried tagging a cop car with the cops still in it.
What?
Who's got the jumbo dog?
How'd you know?
X-ray vision.
Hey.
Would you tap that ass?
Once, if I double-bagged it.
Project girls don't abort.
Uh, hi.
I'm here to help Karen study for her midterm.
Okay.
You have to take your shoes off.
What?
I'll get you a plastic bag.
Here you go.
She's got this thing
about people bringing dirt in the house.
Molysmophobia.
Oh.
Right.
Okay, so, um... if you remember it like this,
the... the formula is completely visible.
Um... okay.
Midget naked witch is bending over,
and she's crying
'cause she lost one ear and she can't find it.
How do you know all this?
Uh, just something I like to fool around with.
Like a hobby?
Uh, no. More like a plan.
Physics? Yeah, yeah.
Have you done Newton's first? I've got a great one for that.
Um, "Everybody continues
"in a state of rest or uniform motion
"unless acted upon
"by an external...
force."
Uh, hang on.
Karen, I'm, uh...
I'm still going to have to charge you for this.
Charge me?
Yeah, this isn't charity.
I get paid for tutoring.
I know.
Science just turns me on.
Okay.
♪ ♪
Jesus.
Lip, you in there?
Lip. Can I borrow your deodorant? Yeah?
I'm using Ian's. If I stick this in the washer
Fiona, where are you? before I go out, keep an eye on it?
Uh, do it tomorrow.
God, it stinks in here.
Oh, sorry. There's a shirt I need.
Fiona!
We need to go if we're going to get a ride to the club.
Hey, five minutes. Look at me.
No, this has got to go back tomorrow.
I'll put it back on later. I have a tag gun at home.
What? From when I worked at T.J.Maxx.
Let's go.
Hot dogs downstairs. Nachos, too.
Have fun. Bye, Lip!
Hey, Veronica.
Hey.
♪ She won't ever get enough ♪
♪ Once she gets a little touch ♪
♪ If I had it my way, you know that I'd make her say ♪
♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪
♪ No more sailors, and no more soldiers ♪
♪ With your name in a heart, tattooed up on the shoulders ♪
♪ Your kiss is like whiskey, it gets me drunk ♪
♪ And I wake up in the morning ♪ Hi.
♪ With the taste of your tongue ♪
♪ In the back of the car... ♪
My purse! Fuck!
My purse!
That guy just took my purse!
♪ She won't ever get enough ♪
♪ Once she gets a little touch... ♪
Shit. Hey!
Hey! Assholes!
Ah, sorry.
That was fucking incredible.
Truly, honestly, one of the most heroic things I've ever seen.
Did you see him?
Stupid, but, man, heroic.
Uh, Steve.
Uh, my name is Steve.
Uh, I was...
going to offer to buy you a drink anyway.
Oh. She'll take a drink.
Hey, where do you think you're going?
Uh... Are you serious?
Where's his stamp? Can you believe this joker?
If you were doing your job, he wouldn't have had to.
No stamp, no reentry.
Is he for real?
Fat prick.
Fine. You're all barred.
For what? Uh, drugs.
What?
He probably let them get away 'cause he knows them.
Shut up, skank. Watch your mouth.
Or you're going to do what?
Okay. Okay, forget it.
Please, forget it. Okay.
Come on, let's... let's get a cab.
Thank you.
Come on.
Oh!
Oh, shit!
Watch it!
Hey, fucker!
Got a hummer today.
What's the law on sex with pets?
From Karen Jackson.
No way.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She got a "C" in physics. Needed a "B."
Or you, uh...
you wouldn't have waited this long to tell me.
Oh, five hours.
Okay, you're full of shit.
Fuck you.
You ever have a knob job?
Once or twice.
Oh. Wow.
I didn't hear you rushing to tell me.
Yeah, well.
I mean, I thought...
we tell each other everything.
Unless...
You got sucked off by a guy.
For instance.
No way. Lake Forest...
Lake Forest is not Chicago.
I'm not kidding, Steve.
You are dead if he ever lays eyes on you. And I mean dead.
I nearly peed myself when you hit him.
Well, I did a little.
Hey. Hi.
Wait, how many of you guys live here?
Not me, I'm one down.
But the old guy next door died in March, which I guess
technically makes us next-door neighbors.
So you're a nurse, Veronica? Used to be.
Lying bitch.
She worked housekeeping at Cook County,
bedpans and shit-sheets.
Fine. But I was offered a place in the nursing school.
Fine. But it never happened.
They fired her for selling medical supplies on eBay.
Will you shut up? We don't even know him.
Steve. Carl.
Lip.
Debbie.
How you doing, Debbie?
Nice watch.
Oh, thanks. Panerai.
What'd that set you back, about six bills?
Plus, Ian.
Hey.
Hey, Debbie, why do they call him "Lip"?
His real name's Philip.
Yo, Veronica!
You got my keys?
What's going on here?
This is Steve.
Decked the bouncer at Purgatory to defend my honor.
My honor.
Yeah? Which bouncer?
Jimmy Clifton.
Jimmy Cli...
Well, Jesus, man,
put it there! Respect!
Guy just stands there, doesn't really do anything.
Yeah, you'll be his third conviction.
Huh? Third or fourth.
Fourth. Yeah.
I mean, after that much practice, you would think
the man would have manslaughter down by now.
No more fuck-ups like last time,
like leaving his dad still breathing.
His dad.
Yeah. Five years,
over an '87 Monte Carlo with 200,000 miles on the odometer.
Fucking Monte Carlo!
Okay, come on, time for bed. Up the wooden hill. Come on.
- It's not even midnight yet! - Aw, man.
Come on, come on, go! Already? Shut up.
Move, move, move, move, come on.
Yeah, let me take one last look at you,
while you're still alive!
Here.
What, that's his?
Yeah. Well, company car.
What kind of company?
Internet startup?
Earning what?
Couple mil a year.
High school dropout.
Got a job as a janitor in this small tech firm.
Within a year, he owned it.
Made his first billion by 20.
Two Jags, controlling interest in the Red Wings,
10,000 employees kissing his ass.
"Yes, boss. No, boss."
Why shouldn't he ride around in style?
Oh, you just made that up.
What...?
Why do you do that?
Your face!
How is that even funny? It's not even funny...
How the fuck would I know how much he earns,
you twisted dumb prick?
I'm not a dumb prick.
Kevin, I just met the guy an hour ago.
Take back "dumb prick"!
Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Veronica.
What's your pre-tax income?
Well, you sure didn't mind
watching him take his shirt off, now, did you? Huh?
Not one bit.
In fact, if you hadn't walked in,
Fiona and I were going to knock him down and tag-team him.
Now I guess I'm stuck with you.
Hold on.
The Fiona tag-team, is that an option?
'Cause you know, you can throw that in the mix...
Anytime you like it, too...
I'll be doing it, all right...
All quiet up the "wooden hill"?
As quiet as it ever gets.
Straight answer: if I hadn't busted my skull for you tonight,
would you have looked at me twice?
Who's saying that I looked twice?
Oh, you did, then.
I can't.
You know, 90% of the world's problems are caused by
tiny words that come in pairs.
I mean, we're healthy and we're happy, but when people ask,
we say...
"Not bad."
You know, the first time that I saw you dancing,
about a month back at Crobar,
I was desperate to buy you a drink.
You know, normally I'm shy, so I told myself: I can't.
She won't. We wouldn't.
And then tonight I see you there again.
All the indications being that I'm getting...
...a second chance to make a good impression.
Tell me to stop, and I'll stop.
Take it slower, slower, slower, slower.
Slower.
Ah! Ah! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Almost... almost...
Fiona? Shit. Shit, shit!
Fiona!
Shit.
Fiona, are you home?
Is Fiona in?
Uh... she's upstairs.
I'll go get her.
Hey. Oh.
Yeah, uh, cops looking for you.
Stay here.
Liam.
Liam?
You... you...
I wouldn't put him anywhere near a carpet
till his pants dry a bit.
Thanks, Tony.
See you, Fiona.
Who the hell is that?
My dad.
Sync & corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com